To state the obvious, most of us want to be remembered fondly by our families. However, poor estate-planning can have the opposite result – igniting conflict and emotional pain. We examine how to avoid a family fallout after you pass on.

In 2021, research by the Productivity Commission (PC) found the annual sum of intergenerational inheritances grew from $24 billion in 2002 to $52 billion in 2018.The PC expects this trend will continue, citing an earlier study from Griffith University that predicted $3.5 trillion would change hands in the two decades ending 2037.1 

With more at stake, Australian courts are seeing an increase in the number of wills being challenged by adult children. 2 What’s more, families have become more complicated with blended and step families now accounting for a larger proportion of all households. 3 Even families with a history of harmony may find that the grieving process heightens tensions and fosters suspicions. Some commentators suggest that as many as 70% of intergenerational wealth transfers fail due to conflicts and ‘bungled execution’.4 

As you think about your legacy, here are five things you can do to help ward off family disagreements.

1. Communicate openly. By discussing your intentions with your family, you’ll help prevent misunderstandings and reduce the likelihood of disputes. Although it may be uncomfortable, holding a family meeting to discuss your will can help address concerns. If any family members are unhappy about your wishes, dealing with their concerns while you’re alive is better than them doing so in a courtroom later.

2. Aim for fairness and explain any unequal distributions.

If you’re dividing your estate among your children, equal shares can reassure each child that they are equally loved. Yet ‘sharing equally’ will require some expertise if your assets are lumpy or complex. Ensure your will is professionally written so that your intentions are executed.

You may, however, choose to leave unequal shares to your heirs. Perhaps you’ve already given one of your children an early inheritance such as a home deposit and you plan to redress the imbalance in your will. Or one of your children has a chronic illness and needs funds for ongoing care.

If so, explain your reasoning in person, in your will, and/or in a separate letter to avoid feelings of unfairness.

3. Update regularly and keep it accessible. Keep your will up to date, especially after major life events like marriages, births or deaths in the family. Make sure that your executor and your legal representative each have the latest signed copy.

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